Parenting Guided by Quaker Faith and Practices
Workshop # 56
Harriet Heath
Our Quaker beliefs, testimonies and practices contain challenges and insights for how we can live as a family and how we can nurture our children. In a worshipful atmosphere, we will explore the strengths of Quakerism and the guidance it offers our parenting, while dealing with the individual concerns we have for our families.
Percentage of time:
Worship/worship-sharing 33; Lecture 17; Discussion 33; Experiential 17
Adults only
Full Description
Participants will:
- Identify their Quaker beliefs, values and practices that are relevant to their parenting.
- Discuss and practice how they can integrate these tenets of Quakerism into their parenting.
Topics:
The facilitator will be prepared to cover any of the following incredibly long list. The starred items will definitely be discussed during the workshop. The non-starred items tend to be touched upon as we discuss specific issues and situations raised by Participants.
*Our Spiritual Journey
*Finding that of God in others including our children
*Quaker Testimonies: Simplicity, Stewardship, Integrity, Peace, Equality, Service
*Building and Maintaining Relationships
*What is the situation with which we are dealing?
*Observing
*Brainstorming
*Beliefs about children’s needs or lack of need for guidance
*Values
*Feelings
*Needs
*Characteristics of People including: Developmental level, Temperament Patterns,
*Learning/Thinking Style, Physical Make-Up, Background, Interests
Circumstances in which we are parenting
Social patterns
*Quaker Practices
Centering
Dealing with conflict non violently
Conflict resolution
Dialoguing
Discerning
Holding people in the Light
Laboring with...
Meditating
Mindfulness
Problem Solving
Plain speaking
Quaker process
Querying
Recognizing wrongs
Seeking knowledge
Seeking Inner Light in others
Speaking Truth to Power
Outline:
Pre-Gathering
- Letter of welcome with a questionnaire that will provide a means of getting to know the participants.
Sunday
- Worship and worship sharing ending with a mindful breathing exercise
- Getting to know each other - Introductions of ourselves and our families
- Brief introduction of approach
- Looking at the Testimonies: Why these Testimonies? What do they mean to us? What do they have to say to us? How can they guide our parenting? (We will work in small groups recording our ideas on newsprint which will be posted around the room, if possible. These will be referred during the week.)
- Session will close with a mindfulness meditation
Monday
- Worship and worship sharing ending with a mindfulness exercise
- Reintroduce ourselves
- Continue discussion of testimonies and relating them to parenting experiences
- Question: are there for certain values we need in order to be able to live by the Testimonies
- Have a time of sharing situations with which we are dealing
- Brainstorm ways of dealing with our situations
- Using our Testimonies and values, decide which of the ways to implement
- How can we build and maintain our relationships with our children? Is it important that we do so?
- Practicing our Quaker Practices: centering and being mindful
- End session with a mindfulness meditation that focuses on a child.
Tuesday
- Worship will close with holding a child in the Light
- Our Quaker beliefs – What do we believe? “Where do you see that of God in your Child having a temper tantrum in the super market? What are the implications for our parenting?
- How can out beliefs guide our dealing with situations we face?
- What are the needs of people that must be addressed?
- How do we plan for meeting these needs? Think about how disciplinary methods rests on the manipulation of needs
- Practicing our Quaker Practices listening and hearing
- End session with a mindfulness meditation that focuses on a situation.
Wednesday
- Worship will close with a guided meditation
- What are the feelings of those involved in a situation? How do we take into consideration the emotional currents in our family life?
- How do developmental levels, temperament patterns and learning styles affect how we can integrate our testimonies and beliefs into our parenting?
- Our planning for an actual situation now takes into consideration characteristics of our children and family as well as their feelings and emotions.
- Practicing our Quaker Practices: meditating, discerning
- End session with a mindfulness meditation that focuses on a group of people, children and parents, interacting.
Thursday
- Worship will close with a guided meditation
- How do the interests of our children, their previous experience and their physical make-up need to be considered as we plan for our families?
- Meditating in the midst of chaos
- Practicing our Quaker Practices – eldering and laboring with
- End session with a mindfulness meditation
Friday
- Worship will close with a guided meditation
- A return – looking again at our relationship with our children with a focus to our experiences at the Gathering
- Re-examining our parental role
- Reflections and unfinished business
- End session with worship sharing and good - byes
Readings:
Paths to Quaker Parenting Using Quaker Beliefs, Testimonies and Practices by The Quaker Parenting Project
Planning: A Key to mastering the challenge of parenting by Harriet Heath. Handouts will include exercises such as being mindful as a way of centering.
Bibliography of books for parents that have a Quakerly approach.
Readings before Gathering:
My experience has been that too few participants read the material to be able to build on the readings during the discussions. Those who haven’t found the time, feel guilty... It is better to have parents come ready to participate than with a feeling of sadness that they have not gotten something done.
