Guidelines & Communication

We require that individual Friends or monthly meetings purchase a copy of the Directory in order to use it. To protect our hosts, we will not give out information from the Directory by phone or e-mail and it will never be placed online.

We also require that a traveling Friend carry a brief but explicit letter of introduction or travel minute from the clerk or other officer of the monthly meeting where they attend. This is meant to give hosts assurance that the visitor is a member or regular attender and thus part of the Religious Society of Friends. It also provides a monthly meeting contact, should one be necessary. We strongly encourage Friends who are hosting to make the expectation of a travel minute or letter of introduction clear in advance. 

The best visits result from good communication between host and potential guest based on a clear understanding of expectations and needs. Don’t assume that all Friends share the same cultural expectations. Remember Friends keep different sleep hours and live in different time zones. Guests should observe all limitations outlined by hosts regarding advance notice, length of stay, no smoking, etc. and are encouraged to eat before arrival unless they have been invited for a meal. Guests should notify hosts as soon as possible when arrival is delayed or plans change. We encourage guests to send a thank you note after their visit.

Here are some important questions for hosts and guests to discuss:

Questions for the host to ask the guest

• What is the purpose of the visit? How much time do you expect to have available for visiting and sharing?
• When are you arriving? How will you arrive? How many people are in your party? How long do you plan to stay?
• What is your monthly meeting and other Quaker affiliation(s)?
• Do you have any special needs or allergies?
• If there is a problem at the last minute how can I get hold of you?

• Time you have available to spend with guests and expectations you have about the visit
• Describe any pets you have at home.
• Children living at home and their ages.
• If you will provide food and under what conditions (“I can provide breakfast but not lunch” or “we can all cook together” or “you are welcome to use the kitchen but please do not cook meat,” etc.)
•  Any objections to drinking alcoholic beverages in your home.
• If smoking is allowed in the house or outside
• If there is place to camp or to park an RV
• What the limitations are on when people can arrive and depart.
• Things that are interesting to see and do in your area.

• What detailed directions and parking information do I need to get to your house (or specific arrangements if the host is picking you up somewhere)?
• Will meals be provided? Is the kitchen available for my use? What are the limits (such as a vegetarian household)?
• Is it okay to drink alcoholic beverages?
• Is it okay to smoke?
• Are there pets in the house?
• Are there children in the house?
• How can I get hold of you if something changes at the last minute?
• I have special needs (private bath, no stairs, allergies), can you accommodate them?

• When you plan to arrive, how are you traveling, how many people are in your party, and how long you want to stay.
• The purpose of your visit or your interest in the area, or the kind of sight seeing you plan to do during your visit.
• Expectations you have about the visit and the time you have available to visit with your hosts.
• Your monthly meeting and other Quaker affiliations.
• That you will be bringing a traveling minute or letter of introduction from the clerk of your meeting.
• If you are interested in attending meeting for worship with your hosts.